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The First-Timers’ Guide to MJ

The First-Timers’ Guide to MJ

For our Friday entertainment, we’re taking a cue from High Times and reading Maureen Dowd’s New York Times article entitled, “Don’t Harsh Our Mellow, Dude.” Cool title, Maureen. Also, hilarious – because she took her first taste of edible pot (or any pot, it seems) by herself in a hotel room in Denver and then balked at how anxious it made her feel – “thirsty, panting, paranoid.”

We hadn’t thought of the fact that now, in Colorado, a group of people who always used to say, “I’ll do it when it’s legal” are making good on that statement. And maybe they don’t really know how or where to start. And maybe that lack of knowledge could give them a bad frame of reference for marijuana in general. You know what they say, first impressions are everything!

So, we’ve taken the liberty to help those first-timers experimenting with legal pot.

A few instructions:

  1. Partake with people you trust, and have at least one “marijuana spirit guide.” Your spirit guide will tell you what to expect each step of the way to avoid any anxiety. The people you trust will make you feel all warm and fuzzy instead of clammy and freaked out like Maureen!

  1. Partake in a place that feels comfortable to you. This could be your bedroom, your backyard, a local park, or a friend’s place. Just make sure it’s a space that feels good to you. You know, like not a lonely Denver hotel room.

  1. Know what you’re smoking/eating/vaping. This is also the benefit of having a spirit guide. You want to know that you can trust the source of the bud. As a first-timer, you probably don’t want to do any dabs, and if you’re experimenting with edibles, you definitely want to make sure to check dosage. Remember that with edibles, you won’t feel anything for an hour or two.

  1. Cue up movies or tunes. To maximize your first experience, create a bangin’ mix of your favorite tunes to listen while you toke. Or, watch something that’s normally too trippy for real life. If you’re worried about anxiety, stoner comedies are great to chill you out and make you laugh.

  1. Drink plenty of water, and buy snacks ahead of time. The dry mouth is real. So are the munchies. Plan accordingly.

  1. Clear your day or night. You won’t stay high all day/night, but clear it anyway so you can relax. And please don’t drive high. We shouldn’t have to say this, but whatever, we will.

That’s our advice! Too bad Maureen missed it. What do you think – did we leave anything out?

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